Could Your Thoughts Be Deceiving You?
The art of cognitive reframing and how a simple shift in perspective can change our lives.
Our minds are master storytellers.
Lately, I’ve been reflecting on how often those stories box us in, repeating old narratives without ever asking if they still serve us.
It started during a conversation with a friend stuck in a cycle of self-doubt—and echoed in my own thoughts throughout the week.
That led me down a rabbit hole into one of the most powerful tools we have: cognitive reframing.
Have you ever felt trapped in a thought, wondering if there’s another way to see it?
In this letter, we’ll explore:
A man who reframed unspeakable suffering into meaning
The neuroscience behind how thoughts reshape our emotions
Why reframing matters in everyday relationships, parenting, and leadership
The Man Who Reframed Hell
In 1942, Viktor Frankl entered Auschwitz with nothing.
He lost his freedom, his family, his manuscript.
But instead of surrendering to despair, he reframed his reality.
He saw his suffering not as punishment, but as a test—a sacred responsibility to preserve meaning, even when everything else was stripped away.
That shift didn’t just help him survive—it shaped the minds of millions through his book Man’s Search for Meaning.
Like adjusting a camera lens, Frankl turned his perspective just slightly.
And the entire picture changed.
His example invites a haunting question:
What if we’ve misjudged our own pain because we’ve been telling the wrong story about it?
Most of us react to suffering with automatic thoughts:
“This always happens to me.”
“There’s something wrong with me.”
But beneath those thoughts lies a deeper truth:
It’s not the event—it’s the frame that shapes how we carry it.
The Brain’s Invisible Filter
Our brains are storytellers too.
We rarely experience raw events. Instead, we interpret them through thought patterns shaped by belief, culture, and memory.
This is why two people can go through the same event—and walk away with entirely different emotions.
Aaron Beck and Albert Ellis, pioneers of cognitive therapy, showed that our interpretations—not the events—drive our emotional responses.
Here’s the science:
When we reframe a negative belief, our brain’s fear center (the amygdala) can literally calm down
New thought patterns create new neural pathways—this is neuroplasticity
Over time, the brain adapts to the new perspective, reducing anxiety and increasing resilience
Each new frame isn’t just mental—it’s physical. You’re reshaping your brain.
And it’s not just clinical.
Across domains and cultures:
In Christianity, suffering is seen as an opportunity for spiritual growth and drawing closer to God
In family therapy, a “difficult” child becomes “determined” through reframing
In leadership, setbacks are framed as feedback—fuel for innovation
These diverse examples echo the same principle:
Your frame shapes your future.
Why Reframing Matters
“Sure,” you might think, “but I’m not in therapy.”
That’s the point.
You’re already reframing every day—without realizing it.
The question is: are you doing it with intention, or by default?
Let’s break down three ways reframing makes a difference:
Greater Self-Awareness
Reframing teaches us to catch thoughts in motion.
A while back, I missed a personal deadline. My first thought?
“I’m just not disciplined enough.”
But I paused. I challenged it. I reframed it: “I took on too much. I need to adjust my system.”
The event didn’t change—but my identity narrative did.
That small shift diffused the shame and gave me insight instead of frustration.
Where might your recurring frustration actually be a frame problem?
Challenges Conventional Wisdom
We’re taught to trust our first thoughts.
But cognitive science shows those thoughts are often distorted.
We catastrophize, personalize, and generalize without realizing it.
Beck’s cognitive theory—and decades of CBT—prove that gently questioning these thoughts improves mental health.
In other words: “I’m a failure” often isn’t truth. It’s a bad frame.
Ask yourself:
Where have you mistaken a temporary struggle for a permanent label?
Broad Social & Cultural Power
Reframing isn’t just personal—it’s collective.
Think about public health. When addiction was reframed from “moral weakness” to “treatable condition,” stigma fell and support systems rose.
Or how some cultures frame aging not as decline, but as wisdom accumulation.
That kind of societal shift starts with how individuals choose to interpret stories.
What would happen if we framed people not by their mistakes, but by their efforts to grow?
When enough people shift their perspective, narratives change.
And with them, so does culture.
The Power to Shift
Cognitive reframing is one of those tools that sounds too simple—until you realize it’s everywhere.
It’s how we survive grief.
How we repair broken trust.
How we transform anxiety into action.
Let’s bring this tool into the light and learn to use it well.
Here’s how it helps:
Enhances empathy: When you realize everyone is operating inside their own frame, your judgments soften. Curiosity replaces criticism.
Builds resilience: When your first thought isn’t the final truth, life becomes less overwhelming. You give yourself space to respond, not just react.
Expands creativity: When there’s more than one way to see a problem, solutions multiply. You stop getting stuck. You start getting curious.
This week, try this question on for size:
“What’s another way I could see this?”
It might sound small. But it opens doors. Sometimes, to everything.
In the meantime, I’d love to hear from you.
Have you ever reframed something painful and found unexpected peace or power on the other side?
What’s a belief or story you’ve changed in the past year that made a difference?
Let’s keep learning together—one frame at a time.
P.S. If this made you think differently—or feel differently—about something you’re facing, forward it to a friend. Reframing is contagious. And sometimes, someone you love just needs a new lens.